Same Love, Alternate Ending

Written on 9-21-10

So close, yet so far

Hand in hand

Your arms around my waist

Mine around your neck

As if no one else around

The only sound that could be heard

Was our beating hearts and breathing

As if we were one

One heart, one breath, just one

As we sit there, so close to one another

Eyes looking at one another

There’s a comfort

We were in the understanding grounds

In what this was built upon

Let us start anew; from the beginning

We were sitting close

Talking and trying not to mess up

When one would look up, the other away

Shy, so very shy

And then you asked

If we should try

To stand not alone as two

But together as one

From that stand point we grew

Started with a hug and just getting to know each other

And even then we were both nervous

As our stomachs would sink

And we would become speechless

Just sitting in each other’s company

Then there was our first

We had no idea what we were doing

As our lips touched

While all noise became mute

We leaned away

As if the two children inside

Were playing tease

And then we sat there

Our hearts pounding

To the point where they

Could have broken out of

Our trapping bodies

And into one another’s soul

Just merely children

But not exactly so

It was deeper than that

Like this was supposed to happen

It was the ending of a fairy tale

But for us, it was only the beginning

The next we meet again

We sit there as if nothing happened

And then once again, we kiss

I blush, and you sit there

Your knowing that I was shy

And you held me closer

Pulling me up onto your lap

And holding, just holding

And our hearts beat at a calm rate

It was out of our comfort zones

Your grip loosened

At that moment, I looked up

To see that you were watching me

I was still a child, but you had grown slightly

It was at this moment that you leaned back

Wanting me to get closer

And I did

With you arm around me

And mine laying lightly on your torso

Along with my head

And I fell asleep

You didn’t wake me

You just sat there

Again, just watching me

And then I woke up

To see you still there

I sat up slightly

As did you

And you pull me closer than ever before

But this time I was facing you

I wrapped my legs around you

And we hugged one another

Heartbeats the same

Breathing at a rapid rate

We then looked at one another

You kissed my cheek

As I did to you

I then giggled

Me still being the child

And you were guiding me

At that moment

We became one

One heart, one soul

One… love

It was love

I had started to speak

And then those words came from your lips:

“I love you”

I sat there with a slight smile and looked down

I said “I love you too”

Then we became kids again

But we thought we knew so much

It was our innocence

That made our love into dust

After that point

We had grown so close

And then it happened

You shoved me

Not only bruising me

But my heart as well

I didn’t want to believe it

So I stayed quiet

And waited

But then faith interfered

And I had to move

You wanted to break up

So we did

And once again

We just sat there quiet

Then you stood up

But before you walked out of my life

You picked me up one last time

And we kissed

At that moment, we didn’t lean away

We didn’t want it to end, but it had to

And then we stopped

Tears running down my face

You left as soon as you could

For you were crying too

Our love was forbidden

Everything we did and said

To each other

Wasn't meant to be

Though we were children

And we were new to the adult world

But it felt so real

And at this age things like this aren’t supposed to last

And we are both over each other

At least I am

We will remain friends

Which is what we should have been in the first place

For our love of a fairytale

Came to an end

As the cover closed

And we went on in separate ways.

Mute

Written on 9-14-10

Sitting in water

Cold tempered water

Not changing

Just tapping

*tap* *tap* *tap*

Dripping in this hole

The hole that goes deeper

Deeper than the Earth’s crust

Deeper than life, love and death

Combined at the seam

The seam holding it all

But then it falls apart

Just one loose thread

Just one, destroys it all

One minute there

The next all gone

Everything is woven

Held by every stitch

The stitch that once was life and love

Now flourishes in the mist

This mist is thick and dark

Once entered, hope is lost

To enter this mist with hope of returning

Is nothing but lies within itself

While walking in this darken world

Of spirits new and young

Old and lost

Gone forever

This darkness has taken over

Why, you ask

As you sit in this place of lonesome

Why is there no one to help

All hell has broken out

Loose with flames

The lies that were told to you

The lies you told to everyone

Then, everyone is a lie

Including you

Yes, you.

A lie and nothing else

There really is nothing to it

As you sit here in the cold water

You realize that life itself is a lie

One forever changing lie

When death toll life

But life minus ‘f’ is lie

And rearrange and subtract the ’d’

Death is just truly hate

And now sitting in this cold wet down

Of water in this path

A curved door above closes

And now in a box

But not a box, but a coffin

And not cold water, but tears

This is not a depression for the deceased

But the sadness of a death

For the dark is mourn

And the lost are just sad

For this funeral is not just for thee

But for the willing dead.

And as the coffin goes into the hole

Which is truly another world

A piece of fabric is thrown underway

And lay in the muddy, gruesome sole

The edges are frayed

And it’s all ripped to shreds

But with that said

Everyone is dead, really.

Everyone has this square of cloth

Everyone has had it throw on them

But now, who is it in this hole

The living, or the dead?

Frostbitten

Written on 9-6-10

The snow grips to the earth

As a sickened child grips to life

And covers the once green grass

To freeze it over until the light of day

Returns to give its warmth

White, all white

Some grays, pale blues

But all white

As I walk this faithless day,

There is nothing to see

Two feet ahead, nor two feet back

The gloom sets in

As the grays, pale blues, and whites set in

There is a jewel of red

This red is blood

And forward on there is a hand

In the falling snow

But not of the living lust

They are gone, lifeless

Ended in pure misery

I dig in snow and slush to find

A mere child, dead in the streets

Murdered in this frozen day

A knife to the spine

To be left paralyzed

In a gutter

Scared to her last breath

Unable to move, or even see

A tragedy at its line

The fallen had nothing

Nothing to truly say they lived

So young, such a precious life

Each stitch unraveled at the seam

Her blood lay around her

As if a bold aura

To say the heart was done

Every muscle, every thought

Was gone and forever lost

Only she knew her pain and suffering

Only she knew

So as I sit in the snow

Next to this body

I wonder why

Why did this happen?

Why did no one here her screams?

Or did they hear

And decide nothing was the answer

How cruel this world has become

To leave a child to die alone

Her last remembrance of this world

Was the snow she laid face-down in

Through her clear blue eyes

Lays the darkness

Her eyelids lay shut

Hands laying out

Legs slightly bent

Neck on an angle

While her head is in a pillow of snow

And her body is left frostbitten.